Monday, May 11, 2015

3rd Surgery done

Hey y'all how are ya?
Recovering from my hysterectomy here.
The surgery went well and no cancer! Thank you Lord!
Thankfully I was able to have it done laparoscopic instead of a big incision.
The pain has still been pretty rough, however I think the worst is over.
This healing process is for the birds!
All I have done in 6 days is sit in Lee's recliner. I am going stir crazy, but I am just not
Up to doing more. Taking a shower or walking to the mailbox wears me out.
Oh well this is just a time to be still.
Feel free to call, text or write.
Thank you for your kindness and prayers.
X's & O's

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Infertility Part 2..

Hey Y'all,
How are you today? Doing OK here. So I met with the Oncologist today and my next surgery is on May  5, ugh I just want it all over with!
So a bit more on our Infertility story...starting from the beginning.
We tried and tried to have a baby, my friends and family were starting families and the heartache and happiness clashed, happy for them and heartbroken at home.
The endless questions began; good intentioned people asking heartbreaking questions, sometimes nosy people asking rude questions!
Don't you want kids
Yes, with all my heart!
How come you don't have kids.
We are struggling daily with infertility.
Don't you want to be a mom?
It is the greatest desire of my heart.
Oh you are one of "those" couples.
No, we are not choosing to not be parents.
You can always adopt.
We tried twice, both fell through, I cannot go through that pain again.
You are pro life so just adopt.
It's not that easy! If it were everyone would, I would adopt a house full if I could have!
What other  peoples babies aren't good enough for you?
Of course they are all children are precious gifts from God.
The list goes on and on....
In the end all the prayers and pleading led to a barren womb.
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord.
The 2 failed adoption attempts were devastating to us, after they fell through I wanted to be a foster Mom, Lee however felt he couldn't do it and he felt it would be to hard on both of us when the children we were loving and caring for were moved to another home or went back to bad situations, I agreed and disagreed with him. We talked, cried, prayed and sought counseling about it and in the end it was something we had to agree to disagree on.
Every holiday I would cry in private and grieve for the children I wanted to do so many special things for.
After a few years the tears became less and  the hole in my heart closed.
Acceptance is hard and I still have my moments, but accepted it I have.
I am ok with all of it. I  am ok with being a family of  2.
The end of this will be on May 5 with a hysterectomy, nothing more final than that!




Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Infertility

Hey Y'all how are you today?
It's a rainy grey day here. which I am thankful for because the pollen is killing me!
I have seasonal allergies and this year nothing is working, so rain is a good thing.
So a few things are prompting this post.
1. My struggle with infertility
2.An article I read on one of our local news stations web sites.
3.Questions I get asked
4.My surgeries and another on the horizon.
5.Adoption heartbreak
So this wont be forever long I will break it up in more than one post.
Goodness where do I even start?
An article I just read says 12 in every 100 women struggle with infertility and yet no one talks about it.
Why?
A lot of women are ashamed, religious views, public perception the feeling of inadequacy etc...the list goes on. That's part of what prompted me to share.
The heartbreak and heartache of not being a mom have existed my entire adult life. It was my greatest desire. It is not meant to be.
Let me start with the most recent the surgeries and the next one on the way.
So I have NEVER in all my life since puberty been on a regular cycle, oh I would go through spurts of regularity for a few months but it never lasted.
It did not worry me at all until after I got married and we were not getting pregnant so I saw my regular doctor who sent me to a specialist in difficult and hi-risk pregnancies, he was great to me. I was diagnosed me with Endometrial Hyperplasia and Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and enlarged Ovaries. Surgery followed then rounds of weight loss drugs fertility drugs, hormone therapy, testing and nothing, surgery again.....
Fast forward 12 years still barren and still not regular, my cycle went crazy again and I just cannot take it anymore. So a new DR. who is also  great she got my results and though I am no longer trying to get pregnant I need to have normalcy in my life, my cycle this time started on July 2,2014 and still has not stopped. The struggle is real folks! So hyperplasia is back so surgery again that was the one on March 19 (Lees birthday) they get in there and find massive fibroid and a massive amount of polyps for whatever reason (I have heard different excuses)  they were not able to be removed that day so a second surgery 6 days later was scheduled. March 25.
This week I went back for my results.
Complex Endometrial Atypia with underlying Carcinoma.
What that means is there is a cancer but not tumors and that also means to get rid of it I have to have a total hysterectomy.
I meet with a gyn oncologist on the 22nd to get more information and schedule the next surgery.
That is where I will end it today.
Please ask any questions you have.
X's & O's



Sunday, April 5, 2015

He Is Risen!

Celebrating the resurrection of Christ Jesus!
He is Risen!
Happy Easter my friends.
Image from Google search

Friday, March 27, 2015

Surgery part 2

Hey y'all.
How are things with you?
My second surgery is done.
It went well. The anesthesia was worse this time, I was sick for a couple hours after and had trouble getting my breath as I was coming out of it. Home resting now. I slept 12 hours straight when I got home I got up for about 2 hours and went back to bed for another 10 hours! I think the worst is over.
Now I just have to wait for the pathology to come back...
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.


Friday, March 20, 2015

Surgery...

Hey y'all
How are you today?
Rainy and grey here today.
I had surgery yesterday so I am taking it slower and easier than usual today.
There is a ton I need to do, but not today.
I don't handle anesthesia well, so between the drugs for the anesthesia, pain and nausea. I was knocked for a loop.
I have another surgery next week!
Wish me luck.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

It's my BIRTHDAY!

It is snowing on my birthday ;)
It almost always snows on February 24 
Sometimes only a flurry
Sometimes a blizzard
Sometimes a dusting
This year an inch...so far
It will not last long, we do not stay cold here
our winters are mild as are the temps.
I love it when it snows...on my birthday.
Happy 42nd Birthday to me.